Home is Where the Heart is

I recently went up to Canada for my sister's grad and was very happy to be able to see my immediate family as well as some family I don't get to see as much. It was a busy but wonderful weekend! There were only a couple bumps along the way that I could only help but think wouldn't have been an issue if I wasn't a Canadian living in America.
First of all, the worst coincidence I've ever experienced; My sister and my sister in law's graduation's were on the exact same day! Now yes, this could have been the case even if both of my family's were living in the same city, however at least I could have celebrated with them both the day of and it's possible they could have even been at different times of day and I could have been present at both.

So while I had an absolutely amazing time in Canada celebrating not only my sister's graduation but also her and my dad's birthdays, in the back of my mind I couldn't help but be sad that I was missing my sister in law's graduation who I am quite close to. Not only that but my husband not coming with me to Canada is always unfortunate because I long for opportunities for him to bond with my family seeing as how he doesn't see them nearly as much as I see his family.
The other event that happened to fall on the exact same weekend was Mother's Day! Once again I was not able to celebrate with both sides of my family. Originally I was planning on flying home that day and meeting my mother in law and family for brunch, but leaving my mother the night before and being gone on the Sunday was something that made my heart weary. This led me to find a later flight that left Sunday evening so my mom was happy, but then I dissapointed my mother in law with the change in plans which once again made my heart weary and led me to apologize about a million times.
Through this crazy weekend of almost every important event in May happening at the same time, I learned a couple things.
For one, make the best plan possible when things are in your control. I should have searched harder for a flight that left Sunday afternoon in the first place so that I didn't change the plan last minute and have to skip out on Brunch plans. Finding a flight that works perfectly with your schedule is never easy but the more you search around the better chance you have of finding the right one. In addition, sometimes, you might have to bite the bullet and pay a little more for a more convienent flight, and you have to decide if the money is worth the time you gain.
Secondly, don't stress the things that are out of your control. Many times I cried when I found out my two sister's graduations were on the same day. I was dissapointed I'd miss one and I was dissapointed my husband couldn't come with me to the other. I dreaded the idea of having to tell my sister that my husband wouldn't be able to come for a couple weeks before finally telling her (or rather, making my husband tell her). But was she super mad and upset like I expected? No! She completely understood that he had to go to his own sister's just like I had to go to hers and there was nothing we could do about it. That's just the way life works sometimes. Had I realized that immediately when I found out, it would have saved me a lot of tears.

Finally, and most importantly, I learned, though I have not fully conquered, the fact that having two families is hard! Especially having family in two different countries and multiple cities within those countries. It was so much simpler when I was a kid having most of my family all around me.
Growing up my family was for the most part either in Manitoba where I grew up or Alberta, a couple provinces over where we'd often go visit. I was very close to everyone in my family and we would frequently have big family gatherings for various events throughout the year not to mention most of us went to the same church!

Now you have to understand I'm not just talking about my immediate and semi-immediate family here. I'm talking cousins, second cousins, third cousins, great aunt's and uncles, and so on. This might not be normal for a lot of family's but for ours it was. And it was a huge blessing that I took completly for granted because here I am now living in a different country than all of them with even more family members than before. A whole other clan!
So how in the world am I supposed to stay close to all of the family that God has blessed me with? I really don't know. It gets me down sometimes because I so desparetly want to be able to hang out with everyone in my family from Manitoba, Alberta, Southern California, and even family I haven't had the opportunity to meet in Florida.
I know this is a common struggle in the day and age we live in because of what easy access we have to other parts of the world. Many families are separated even further apart than mine. But this is still new to me and I'm honestly trying to figure out how to deal with it. How are you supposed to deal with missing your cousin's wedding and not meeting your newest baby cousin who's already over a year old? How do you deal with keeping your extended family up to date on the newest events happening in your own life? How can you deal with your heart being in so many different places when your body can only be in one?
As I wrestle through this thought process on my own, the first thing that comes to mind is appreciating the family you are around on a day to day basis. It is very easy for me to get depressed while hanging out with my in-laws because I almost feel like I am cheating on my own family. They don't get to see us every Sunday, they see me every couple months if we're lucky. That's not fair to them. But I also know that they wouldn't want me to not hang out with my in laws just because they get to see me more. I know they are thankful that I am around a family who loves and cares for me as much as they do.

The whole reason I am living in California is because an amazing family has accepted me into their lives with arms wide open. Instead of getting down about the people you are living away from, be thankful for the people you live close to! Invest in the family that is immediately around you. Yes your relationship and encounters will be different than with the people who live a distance away. But that doesn't make either relationship any less valuable. So don't take your near family for granted. Especially when you never know where you'll be in 10 years.
Secondly, it is so important to treasure the time you do have when visiting family in other parts of the nation. Before I left for my last visit, I was dreading the whole trip because I knew at the end of it I would have to say goodbye. But had I kept that mindset, it would have spoiled the entire weekend and I would have lost out on experiencing quality time with my family to the fullest. I just tried to enjoy every single moment I was there and in the end, the goodbye wasn't even so bad! We were all tired from a wonderful weekend together and knew that the next time we'd see each other would be sooner than we thought.
Finally, the only other thing I can think of to make living apart from family easier is simply to make an effort and do what you can to connect! The day and age we live in is the reason for people being so spread out, but out of that has also come many forms of communication and staying in touch. Facebook is great for family that is apart because you have the opportunity to share parts of your life with people across the globe. So make an effort to post pictures and comment on other people's if you want to be more involved with your far out family. I know it's not the same as being face to face but in reality, you simply can not meet every person you wish to face to face every day and social media gives us a unique opportunity to catch a glipse of that.
Now if I'm being honest, the number of people I'd love to talk to and catch up with is overwhelming to me. To the point that just thinking about messaging them on facebook and then having to keep up a converstation gives me a bit of anxiety so I end up not messaging anyone! If that is like you, then start small! Pick one person and message them! Or post a picture of something that's happened in your life recently and tag people in it! Maybe it means adding that one cousin on facebook you've been avoiding! Whatever the step is to connecting with your family more, do it. You won't regret it. Family is one of the greatest blessings God has given us. Just through writing this blog post I have become more thankful for all of my family both in Canada and America.